The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom, by Don Miguel Ruiz, is a brilliant book for stress managing and personal growth. It's written in humble language but deals with intricate themes that can help you bring extensive changes to your life.
One negative to the book is that some of the agreements are too extreme and, if you take them literally, they may cause additional difficulties in your life if taken without a axiomatic grain of salt. However, with a bit of poise and a sense of candidness, these agreements can each be transformative and stress-relieving.
Here's an explanation of each of the four agreements;
Agreement 1: Be Impeccable With Your Word
What it entails: This agreement discusses avoiding gossip, lies, empty promises, and other ways in which we cause problems with our words. Say only what you mean, and realize that you can cause damage if you're not careful with what you say.
Agreement 2: Don’t Take Anything Personally
What it entails: This concept deals with understanding how other people's behaviors are a reflection of them only. When someone gives us feedback about our behavior or about us as people, it's important to remember that no opinions are truly objective; we all have our biases, our filters through which we view the world. Because of this, we shouldn't take anyone else's view of us or our actions as entirely accurate. When someone says something about us, they're really saying something about themselves and how they view the world.
Agreement 3: Don’t Make Assumptions
What it entails: A lot of stress can be created when you assume you know what other people are thinking without checking with them. Understanding that other people might have different motivations for their actions, even drastically varying worldviews from yours, and remembering to really try to understand others and discuss these motivations before jumping to conclusions about their behavior, can go a long way toward preventing interpersonal conflict.
Agreement 4: Always Do Your Best
What it entails: By this, Ruiz means to do the best you can at any given moment and you'll have no regrets. Some days, your best isn't as good as other days, and that's okay. As long as you put an honest effort into life, you will have nothing to be ashamed of, and won't beat yourself up over a less-than-stellar performance in retrospect.
While sometimes the agreements are generalized, this is still a SHORT read jam packed with wisdom. Focusing on these agreements can significantly improve your life and reduce stress; and can really be life-changing for many people.
If followed normally and not obsessively, these suggestions can help you reduce a great amount of stress by helping you avoid thought and behavior patterns that create frustration, blame, hurt feelings, and other negative emotions.